Throughout my childhood, I always understood that a battle had two sides, a win or a loss; where winning was great but losing, not…
so much. This word is very unfortunate because of just that. Many people associate winning a battle as an accomplishment and everything positive while losing a battle is associated with defeat and everything negative. For me, I was able to experience the positive side of “losing” a battle. My grandfather had thoracic cancer and he battled this for many months. Whenever there was a positive outcome from treatment, our families felt as if we had just won a battle and encouraged him to keep on fighting. However, the day that he passed, we all immediately felt as if he had finally lost his battle. But, during the process of grieving his loss, our family was able to realize that we did not have to take this loss so negatively but instead, should look at it in a positive sense. For us, we believed that the fact that my grandfather no longer had to suffer and be in so much pain, the fact that he no longer has to be in a hospital bed hooked up to all these machines was for the better.
I still like to think that it wasn’t that he lost the battle; it was that he stepped away from it because he wanted to. He did not lose, but instead chose to end it. Now, I no longer like to believe that a battle has two sides. I like to believe that there is a win, a loss and a neutral ground of just walking away.
As tough as it seems, when we are faced with a situation of a “lost battle”, I try to think of the positives and try to break away from all the negative associations that comes with it. Remember, you may have not lost a battle, you may have just chosen to end it, and if that is the case, it is not considered a lost battle.