Hope is rather false

William K | Patient |

Good topic.

Sorta like motherhood and apple pie. Gotta have hope, don’t we? Parents name their children “Hope”. Churches promise that we will have it if we will just believe.

But what is it, really?

I started my relationship with HOPE in 2001 when my wife of 24 years served me with divorce papers. I bled, but I survived. Our three teens each have their own version of this. But in its wake, it left me with a new horizon. I was no longer looking for future fulfillment. My horizon was measured in days or weeks, but not much in years anymore.

I adopted a new mantra, “Keep Moving”.

I understood a new truth, “Yesterday and tomorrow are thieves that rob me of my todays”.

I became more spiritual and less religious, and I was not inundated with promises of hope as often because I didn’t go to church as often.

And I wrote a book, “The Dogs of Divorce”.

Seven years later, my relationship with HOPE entered a new phase when I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of thyroid cancer.

One of cancer’s benefits is that you find a new perspective on time.

My horizon shrank again.

I concentrated very hard on enjoying today.

Every day I asked myself, and my new wife, “What was the best thing that happened to you today?” and “What was the worst thing that happened to you today?”

As my head was hitting the pillow each night, I searched my memory for the “good” from today. And I took that “good” to sleep with me.

And I wrote, “The Dogs of Cancer”.

And so today, I don’t care much for HOPE. Did I have the best day today?

Tomorrow will be what it will be. My HOPE will not change that.

My prayers might, but that’s a different topic.

In fact, HOPE is rather false.

It’s like TOMORROW. And we have already discussed how Tomorrow is a thief that robs us of today.

Sorry. I don’t want to take Hope away from anyone.

I would like to help them find Today.

Enjoy Today.

 

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