I could choose to watch the Saw movies or stick to Disney. Then I became a parent, and I now know…
a new face of fear. I always thought it was cliché when people said having a child is like having your heart beat outside your body, but I get that now. I have a whole new perspective of relationships and attachments, health and wellness, and the fear of things like cancer that no matter the outcome, bring a new reality that includes fear and pain and suffering. Yes, I can acknowledge that some good things can come out of struggle, but as a parent, my heart aches even more than it did before for people of all ages, as I now know the intensity of the love I have as a parent for my child. It’s a fear that I need to keep in check so it doesn’t get in my way, but I have a whole new sensitivity to family relationships that are cut short, or depend on the success factors that can largely feel out of one’s control. My child has also taught me that the little things, like blueberries, or turning on a light, or recognizing an airplane, or seeing a cat…can be the best things in the world. So, I’ll try to balance my new-found fear with an equally intense new-found appreciation.